B is an artist by trade. Mostly animation. Artists use pinterest to collect reference and ideas and such. Several months ago I noticed he had pinned several drawings that were more seductive than I thought appropriate. He made a weak defense about why they are helpful reference but conceded to delete them as there are literally THOUSANDS of other reference images that can accomplish the same task with less bobs and butts.
Today I got on the computer and went to pinterest. He was already logged in and he pins interesting things so I started perusing his boards. There was a secret board called "processes" meaning drawing processes. The cover photo looked cool, some kind of pencil sketch of a robot. I thought it was suspicious that he had a secret board but tried to refrain from judgement since the cover photo wasn't porn. I opened the board. Nothing bad. Until I scrolled down and saw the " reference" and "processes" a little ways down. Who knows when these were pinned or what he's used them for. I called him on it and he tried to explain them away. Since he knows I don't like that but it helps him feel "inpired" (yes, he said that) he had made a secret board. Then family came in and we decided to shelve it for later.
I feel lied to all over again. He claims these aren't the ones he claimed to have deleted, these came later. Either way it is still deceptive and I don't believe for one second that the images were purely viewed for the artistic education. I call B.S.
I'm numbing for now. I can't deal until I have a moment to myself away from my in-laws.
I know I can be okay. I know I am worth more than being viewed as valuable based on the perceived appeal of a collection of body parts. I know at least my Savior loves me.
No comments:
Post a Comment