Last night before I went to bed I was online wasting time on pinterest and facebook. Generally these sites are safe for me as I don't have scandalous friends and I unfollow any boards that contain salacious material (NOT a fan of the "boudior" boards that several of my friends started - can we say soft-core porn and just call it what it is?) Anyway, for some reason there were asses everywhere last night. *This is especially triggering for me because of B's preferences for large derrieres and some of my worse D-Day finds* There were adds, little thumbnails for articles, pins, everywhere. I'm so confused as to how I can be reading a feel-good look-how-cute-this-child-is article and the adds on the side are "Big butts have been in a long time" and "17 actresses went full frontal" with IMAGES that are AWFUL. So, after about 15 minutes of trying to navigate away from the smut I realized I was way triggered and even the normal exercise pins were causing me some panic so I closed down and walked away. Gah. I just want to find a cute craft or a new dessert recipe - do I really have to be subjected to this crap?
Fast forward to when B came to bed. I told him about it and I asked if he had looked at anything on my computer. He typically uses his computer - I thought because it reduces risk of being caught by me not being on that device and it is in a more hidden spot (mine is in a hallway). He said no, that he had deleted some trash that was on there, which I'm taking to mean there was porn stored on the computer and he made sure to delete it so I didn't find it. Then he said the kicker, he doesn't use my computer because the sound isn't that great. Well HELL. I didn't need THAT in my head. So, my computer isn't used because he can't hear the moans and groans as well? Yuck, double yuck. Seriously, still feeling squeamish just typing this.
So now I'm conflicted. I'm glad he was honest with me. I'm glad he is being open with me. I also don't like thinking of the things he hears while he watches. Having some flashbacks today. Trying to decide what to do about it. Detach? Talk? Call someone? Gah. Yuck. Double Yuck. The sound isn't as good! FACE-PALM
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