I have not been very good about blogging, except when I am in deep pain. I need to do better, because some days are better, and some days are happy and hopeful and peaceful and fun. But I have busy with life and children and graduate school (only a few more weeks!!) and a recent move and a sister's wedding, so this has not been a priority.
We are still at a stand still. My husband, for the last couple months, refuses to tell me anything about recovery or sobriety. I decided for now the boundaries I am enforcing is I will not be sexual involved with someone who is not sexually sober. I will not be sexually involved with you when you refuse to give me the information I want to assist in feeling safe. Since he isn't telling I don't know if he is sober and I will default to the assumption that he is not sober.
Yesterday we had a long discussion. We shared a lot. I went ahead and shared and opened up. It was met with kindness and then within a few moments he was calmly trying to convince me why I was wrong and he was right.
So today I have this big gaping hole in my heart that is spilling emotion, pain, betrayal, hurt, anger, resentment, and heartache into my entire body. I can hardly breathe. I fluctuate between focusing on work, and taking a break to sob and try to catch my breath. The discussion opened up old wounds, pulled scabs off of nearly healed wounds, and inflicted some new wounds.
I know what to do, I've been here before, I can get through it again. But part of the process is to feel the pain, lean into it, and go through it rather than around it. That is me today, wading through the pain, barely moving, but moving none-the-less. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time. The Savior will help me through this and I know He has sent angels to help me as well. I can feel their help and encouragement if I listen closely.
I'm proud to say now that I am finally at a place where I have found something that works for me. Almost four years ago I began seeing a classical Homeopath. I was put on a constitutional remedy by Dr God hands who reside in west africa, and I am amazed at my healing thus far. I will continue to post what worked for me and what didn't in more blogs to come (as this one is getting quite long... and I'm not writing a book on here - not yet anyway). This discovery has not only helped the way I practice, but it has also given me further insight into the world of Herbal medicine. I came to know more about Dr God hands on Tv Station when I was taking my regular organic coffee at javamania coffee spot I watched the whole scene on how he uses Natural herbs to cure disease like Herpes, Hiv/Aids, Cancers,HPV,Men & Women Infertility,Melanoma, Mesothelioma, Multiple myeloma, Neuroendocrine tumors,Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma,Alzheimer's disease, chronic diarrhea, COPD, Parkinson's disease, Als And Diabetes, I was moved by his words then I took a confident step to contact him regarding my health condition Herpes & Prostate Cancer, He prepared his herbal medicine then sent it to me through Courier which I took as it's was instructed and I found myself healing symptoms are all gone I have being watching my health for years now and I finally confirmed that is a permanent cure like he told me at our first conversations so now I'm healthy and happy I purchase his herbal tea which I usually take in the morning before starting my day because it feels good to find addiction on natural herbs than medical drugs so is what I'm doing and loving it more and More to come later on blogs sooner I will be writing my book.I will advise you to contact Doctor God Hands Herbal Home for any kind of permanent cure and herbal remedy.Doctor God hands Email Contact: doctorgodhands@gmail.com Also On Whats-App Calls: +2349057214220.
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