Self Care

On the forum I frequent for loved ones many people mention self-care and how important it is. As I was reading someone's blog she mentioned that one of her boundaries involves If _____ then I will take time and do one of the things on my self-care list. I LOVE this idea. I've struggled with setting up boundaries partially because nearly all the examples I've seen have involved physical space as the primary or sole consequence (sleeping apart, no intimacy, etc.). Well, I just don't see sleeping apart as being very helpful to me as a consequence at this point. We generally only are intimate if we are close emotionally so that one doesn't really make sense to me right now either. But, taking time to do a self-care item while hubby or someone else watches little man - that makes sense to me. In order to decide on that boundary though (still no idea when it will actually be set or decided on) I need to have a self-care list to begin with. This is the beginning of it - things that help me feel centered, loved, balanced, peaceful, relaxed, calm, an in tune.

• Read my scriptures
• Write in my journal or blog
• Take a long bath
• Go swimming
• Take a walk
• Go for a drive
• Read something uplifting or light-hearted
• Talk to friends and family
• Shower, shave, and do myself up
• Mani/Pedi
• Write a letter to someone
• Play the piano / listen to music
• Take a nap
• Go out with friends/family
• Exercise
• Organize something

It is a start. Maybe now I can think about what some of my boundaries should be. I have set two rights/boundaries already. I will seek out help as I need it, from who I feel I need it from, whether or not that person already knows what is going on. Also, I have the right to a healthy sexual relationship and if I feel it is not healthy for me emotionally, spiritually, or mentally to have sex then I will not do so. Those were tough to set and to tell B about and he didn't take it super well at first but he understands now. We'll see if I feel I need more and either way, I need to do self-care sometimes anyway so I'm glad I have a list!