A New Normal

It has been a while... but I felt like it was time for an update on life.

Life is good here. B is over a year sober and 1 1/2 years into recovery. He is still on step 4 (his sponsor is very, very, very thorough) but continues with lots of things to keep sober and progressing in recovery.

But this blog isn't about that, it is about me and my healing!

I'm doing pretty good too! There are still moments, and still scars, and still triggers, but I would say I am happier in my marriage than I have ever been, I am a more intentional parent, I am more patient and empathetic, I use my recovery tools in all aspects of my life and that is great too.

So, confession, I watch "Sister Wives" on TLC. I don't know, I just love it. The recent episode had a "newlywed" game of sorts - you know, where you ask one spouse and see if the other spouse matches the answer? Well, we kind of played along. and it was fun. One of the questions was, "What would your spouse say is the most important thing in a marriage?"

Me: "What do you think is most important to me?"
B: "Honesty"
Me: "YES! And yours would be to have someone you can be open and vulnerable with, with no judgement"
B: "Yes, openness, and understanding"

It was not a big, deep conversation. The next question was probably about a movie or food or something superficial. But to me, that is the beauty of recovery. THIS conversation happened without trying, without effort, without tears or accusations, without a need to process or put a pin in it until therapy or rehash bad memories or deal with triggers. He knows he must be honest, I know he needs a safe place to land with his hard stuff. We both know that sometimes I am that safe place but for other things it is his sponsor, or our therapist, or any one of the many men he has connected with through ARP and SA.

I love recovery.

In other news, we welcomed baby #2 six months ago. He is perfect, and trying and tiring and poopy and all things baby in the best way possible and his big brother took to him right away and has stayed steadfastly his biggest fan.