Sacrament Meeting Talk - Shame Busting!

This past Sunday the theme of the remarks in our sacrament meeting was "The Word of Wisdom."

One speaker who is new to the area got up and gave a great talk about the word of wisdom. He included that he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction as a teenager and young twenties and that although that is not longer a struggle for him, he struggles with pornography addiction and still attends the ARP meetings. He even gave a plug for them with the local time and location of the meeting. WHAT! In a congregation full of people he doesn't know but whom he will continue to see as he just moved here, he admitted to being an addict - to having more than one addiction! His delivery of this information and the other thoughts and insights he shared was humble, honest, transparent, and genuine. It wasn't the most profound talk or the most articulate or moving but I was moved simply by his humility. It was SHAME BUSTING! You go dude!

My husband, who has seen this guy at group and knew of his pornography addiction but not the drugs and alcohol, was grinning from ear to ear in happiness at the shame-busting nature of the words being spoken. He (hubs) took notes and said he gleaned a lot of good, applicable insights.

I'm sure there were people in the congregation who weren't pleased with the speaker's candor, but I was. Everyone I spoke to about the talk (about half a dozen people) were all pleased as well and loved his remarks and were refreshed by his honesty. Isn't that so great!

I know there is a long way to go, but little by little the shaming culture can be removed from our lives and replaced with an honest, understanding, genuine culture that knows nobody is perfect and we are all trying.

The talk included a great quote from President Uchtdorf:

"Don't judge me because I sin differently than you" (April 2012 General Conference)

Music as a healing balm

I've been pondering lately about how much music can help (or hinder I guess) me. I have a playlist that has music to fit many different moods that I go through with being married to an addict. It has fight songs, girl power songs, comforting songs, spiritual songs, fun songs, and nostalgic songs.

I am not good at singing but singing to my son has been a part of our daily routine since he was born and it is often what will calm him at night or when he is injured or sad. I'm 7 months pregnant now and baby will respond with movement almost every time daddy starts singing to him.

Last night I had a contraction that radiated to my back and wouldn't relax with movement but when my husband put on some relaxing music my body responded within a minute by releasing the tension. The music worked when all the other things I had tried had not worked!

When trauma rears it's ugly head in my life I am so glad I can turn to music as one way to find peace, comfort, and solace. Thank goodness for good music!

Righteous Anger?

Yesterday a dinner guest asked an intriguing gospel question that he had been pondering - What is righteous anger - does it exist?

Our guest believed it could not exist because of God's love for all His children and the repeated imploring of our priesthood leaders to not get angry. Anger, after all, is a result of pride right? He proposed that God feels sorrow when His children misbehave but not anger.

I happen to know this man is a sex addict who is striving for recovery. 

After about 10 minutes of engaging dialogue I had to excuse myself because I knew I would get triggered by an addict telling me that no matter how much a person hurts another person God doesn't get angry with them. The conversation went on for a long time with our guest, my dad, and my husband.

Later that night me and hubs discussed the topic again. 

I believe we have evidence of righteous anger in the scriptures both the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. I believe it exists but it is not the kind of anger we feel because we are prideful and fallen and our anger stems, most of the time, from selfishness and our own hurt. But I can't imagine that God doesn't get angry (or frustrated, or whatever you'd like to call it) when He sees His children harmed by the willful misdeeds of other people who should know better. I know many times we are hurt by people who don't know better or don't have the tools to do better. However, sometimes I make mistakes when I KNOW BETTER. And I can imagine a form of frustrated disappointment that would be an emotion God experiences. 

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit because the idea of an addict telling me God is never angry when His children are hurt briefly made me want to pull my hair out. Thankfully my husband didn't agree with Him so the trigger didn't last long or devolve into anything else. 

I kind of feel like saying "Trigger Managed" in a Harry Potter-esque "mischief managed" kind of way. New catch phrase? Maybe. :)